Resign
After lunch, I meet Pak Heri to hand in my resignation letter. Actually, this is not a tough decision since I have been following the same daily schedule at the office for the past eight months, which is inapplicable for me.
I get extremely bored with the repetitive routines. I feel shaky to face myself being forced to work in almost the same style. I do grow, yet I crawl like a turtle on the seashore, then stuck as if there is a colossal wall standing still in front of me. I don’t intend to disrespect this job, but doing something out of compulsion feels a little bitter.
It’s hard to escape from such a situation. I usually get stuck on the question, if I quit, where should I go? I wouldn’t want to go back home and work there. I always believe that my best luck exists not in my native home but elsewhere.
I frequently received offers to teach in several local schools in my hometown. Several teachers who live next door to me constantly attempted to contact me by calling my parents. Numerous teaching hours and a slight humane salary were promised to me, but it didn’t reach my half salary as an employee. Sadly, the fee for honorary teachers was pathetic. I politely refused the offers because I anticipated more possibilities from various institutions in urban areas.
Pak Heri cannot keep me remain. My decision to leave the workplace confirms that I do not belong to this circle. Even though this office feeds on intrigues, I attempt to enjoy it and get along with everyone. The employees on the first and second floors become warm friends during break times. I frequently hear nice or awful stories, and I remarkably consider that all of them are fiction.
If Pak Heri’s room is closed, he doesn’t want to be disturbed. He is either working on something or simply napping on the couch next to his desk. He is now fifty-nine years old and is a single parent of 3 kids.
When the door opens, I immediately move closer. Pak Heri shows a friendly smile. His face seems relaxed. He may temporarily forget about his work problems and avoid becoming over-stressed. What’s more, he had just returned from Bandung for a personal business last night. I am aware of this since he had distributed some unique souvenirs to the workers last morning.
“Any something, Rahmat?” Pak Heri’s eyes are busy looking at her computer screen.
I hand over two pieces of paper. The first part is my resignation letter; the second sheet has more evidence to prove my desire to leave this work immediately.
I am fully ready for every scenario that Pak Heri might mention. Anger or understanding only occurs once. After that, I depart, embrace myself, and explore the new world where I suppose to belong.
“Do you want to leave?” One question is quite annoying. I am helpless in front of the person who has been so kind to me. Thus far, Pak Heri does not have a red alert for what I do while working in his office.
Last week, Pak Heri invited me to have a discussion. Talk about serious things that he can’t share with anyone in the office. He wanted to create an investigation team. He hasn’t found anyone else who is reliable to join except me.
It has been about a year since Pak Heri discovered that the company funds were transferred to several fictive accounts. Due to his work overload, he tried to dig up the information and could not handle it alone. Therefore, he looked for someone who could be relied on to crack his findings. Pak Heri only grabbed a little source of information, and it needed further investigation. Initial prejudice could be individual or collective stealing. Unfortunately, I have to get out before I touch this confidential duty.
“I have to go to Papua. I was chosen to be one of the teachers delegated there to educate.”
“Was there a selection process? Why didn’t you say so from the beginning?” I don’t anticipate that the question comes up.
“Indeed. I didn’t say anything in the first place because I was terrified of you. If I don’t succeed, I’ll keep working here, and you don’t need to know that I ever participated in the selection process. However, it’s a different story, I am chosen and have to leave, so I officially resigned.”
“Actually, I’m really disappointed with you, Rahmat. Even though your task hasn’t been completely executed, you should leave. I am powerless to stop you. You control your destiny, and you may go. Therefore, I need to replace you with someone else.”
I repeatedly apologize to Pak Heri. I am fully aware that this decision is disappointed him. Whether it’s heavy or intentionally exaggerated, I don’t know. His expression is not very friendly, so I leave Pak Heri‘s room. My mission is complete. At least I quit with a positive notification. I do not disappear like a ghost, though.
Furthermore, Pak Heri requests that I make one final visit to the office tomorrow. I have to pass and explain my work to someone else. I accepted it.
